Being home from college for this long has made it extremely difficult to adjust. I have two world two homes, two different lives now. That is a lot to juggle...
I felt like this whole time of being home I have wanted to spend time with so many different people and make the most of every single day, that I got a little too ahead of myself. As much as it kills me to say this...
things are different.
It will take so long to get used to that. My life as I knew it is pretty much gone. We've all grown up. When I come back home I always expect it to be the same as when I left. As if I put my life on pause and I press play so I can resume where I was. People are different and schedules are different and it's just such a hard thing to grasp. I LOVE where I am, don't get me wrong. But I would be lying if I said I didn't miss what I had...and where I was.
I think I just need to learn to love where I am and love looking into the past, but not living in it. It's hard to not live in the past when I am in the town that made me who I am, and every single street reminds me of something, every building connects to a milestone, every house reminds me of someone..but I guess that's the beauty of it. I will always have Temecula. I will always have the place I call home to refer to. But now I have two homes, and Flagstaff is being amazing to me.
As I think back on my break, (seeing as I only have 6 days left of it) I am SO blessed. The things that Southern California has to offer really didn't hit me until today. I am able to go the movies with no problem, spend time with my family in a house, decide to go to Disneyland with one of my best friends at 4 pm, spending time outside with NO jacket in January, go to the beach, and so so much more. I don't know how I am so loved and so blessed, but I'm glad that I am. I have two amazing places that are SO different from each other that I get to call HOME. :)
things are different..and it's a good thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment