Living in the Past

I feel like I do this a lot. Live in the past. It's something that I really want to work on. I can't seem to NOT live in the past when it was such an amazing one. I mean the friendships, experiences, the people..EVERYTHING was just amazing. This summer, for example, was probably the best summer of my life. Scratch that...it was the best summer of my life. And I make references to it alll the time. I'm sorry if I've done it around you a lot, I can't help it. But anyway, this summer was when I was happiest, strongest and all around the best I think I could possibly be. It was hard work and sooo exhausting but I overcame all of it and I can thank God for that. I want more out of life than going to school and living day by day how I want it. I know I want to serve and be serving all the time and I can do that in simple ways I just have to put my mind to it. My goal for this year is to live in the amazing moment God has graced me with. Because although this summer may have been the best, I can make today just as amazing. I wanna be the person I was this summer. And I don't wanna look back, just move forward. If you're reading this, then you can help me achieve this.

Besides that, I wanna stay positve, upbeat, happy and optimistic. Because we are supposed to be joyful always right?

Hope everyone had a great Monday!:)

One day..

I've been thinking about a lot lately. Which is weird because my brain has been totally fried from studying for finals..haha. But anyway, I was thinking about how I'm too forgiving. I know that sounds weird but I really am. I'm forgiving to the point where I keep getting hurt. And I need to think about myself when it comes to friends and relationships and all that..because when I don't, I get walked all over and people are fake towards me. But I decided that I will always forgive no matter what..because thats the right thing to do. I just wont forget about how it hurt me and how in that place I was sad. I'm gunna 'talk' to a few people that have been on my mind that have recently hurt me. There will be no names mentioned but I feel like this will really help, so here I go.....

One day you will realize how much you hurt me, that what you did to me was wrong and selfish, you'll realize how often I was there for you when you were crying and when you were about to give up on everything..I put my life second to yours and I don't think you realize I did that. And I honestly don't know if you ever will. But I loved you. A lot. And it hurts me to know that you'll never be apart of my life again..but somewhere in that, I find peace. Because I know it was meant to be like this. I want you to be happy. And as much as it kills me that you already are, and that you never think about me as much as I think about you..I still want the best for you. So goodluck. Have fun. and live your life. It's time I finally start living mine....

Wooo, that felt GOOD. Hahah. Too bad the people that was directed to will probably never read it. Oh well.

Hope everyone has a great week! God bless<3

The Moon is Round

The moon is Round. Every time I say this, I get a puzzled look or a 'are you serious?' look. But, I thought I would tell the story behind it so everyone understood why I say it so often. I know that the moon is round, and full and white. But do you realize that the moon is there every night? Even when you can't see it, or it's a half moon or quarter moon...it's ALWAYS round. No matter what is going on in your life. This summer I heard a story of little girl who had cancer and was laying on her death bed. She kept a journal and every few pages it would say.."The Moon is Round" and her little sister didn't understand why she kept saying that. And even got angry at her sister for not telling her. After a while her sister decided to explain it to her. She said that even when we can't see the moon, it's there. Even though we can't see God, He's there. He's shining down on us..giving us light in the dark. It's an amazing thought to think that no matter what..you have someone to turn to. Someone that will never be able to compare to anyone here. Ah, it gives me chills. Last night I was hanging out with two people who have seriously helped me this year. Madeline and Hannah. I couldn't survive without them. But as I was taking Madeline home, we stepped outside in absolute awe because the stars were absolutely amazing and so bright. We stood there staring up at the sky for a good ten minutes. Those little things in life make a huge difference in mine. I take things for granted so often and I don't know why..I have so much to be thankful for and I get frustrated with myself when I don't see it. I love life. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad. Things are hard, things are easy..but they are JUST things..and I need to stop fretting about them. Let the chips fall where the may and don't worry about anything. 2010 is starting off great. And I couldn't be more blessed. <3