Never, Neverland

6 weeks. 44 days. However you look at it, Graduation is coming...full speed ahead. I can't begin to explain to you how many mixed emotions I've had through the course of this year. It's been one of the toughest in high school, and one of the greatest. I've seen people change and hurt and lose themselves. I've seen people rejoice, gain sight of who they are, and get back on track. I've seen people make huge decisions that have altered the course of their life, myself included. Though this journey has been rocky, I've come out of it feeling amazed. Of course, there are many things that didn't go exactly as planned..but what fun would that be? Things happen for a reason and that is one thing I know for certain.

I'm going to Northern Arizona University in 4 months. I'm LIVING in Arizona in 4 months. You can say that I am beyond excited. And part of that is that I have an amazing roommate that I have only known for 4 months, but I already feel like she's my best friend. I know that being 500 miles away from home is going to be difficult, but having adventures, talks, laughs, and bible studies with Madelyn will make it all worthwhile. I'm blessed that God literally put her in my life and He was the reason for us meeting. :)

Facebook is an amazing thing, although it distracts me and consumes too much of my time, I LOVE it all the same. It has given me the chance to meet potential friends that are also attending NAU. Marvelous. I'm also so very excited that I will already have a new family going there. Why you ask? Because I have YoungLife. When you have YoungLife in common, it's an immediate friendship. I promise. I can't wait for that.

As much as I can't wait for this Fall..I'm terrified. This new found emotion has come over me, intensely. My heart hurts when I think of saying goodbye to my parents, and my older brother. Who have literally been my rock and my role models. How will I not see them everyday? And how could I possibly give up the many friendships that have taken years to build, and who have become my sisters? And lastly, how will I give up my comfortble, amazing family that I have with Temecula YoungLife? It has consumed my life for the past 4 years. From leadership meetings, laughs, cries, Campaigners, camp, worship, God, middle schoolers, and amazing people who have guided me in my walk with Christ...I can't fathom saying goodbye to them.

I've never been good with goodbyes, but I can say whole heartedly that these goodbyes will be the hardest I've had to do in my whole life.

In all these emotions, I am stuck. One day I can't wait. The next day I want to break down. I've pictured Graduation day countless times. When I picture it, I see my classmates in their gowns and I see everyone walking across the stage, receiving their diploma after 4 long years. But I can't picture what emotion I will have that day. Will I be happy, or sad? Or maybe a mixture of both? Know idea.

All I know is, God has it all planned out.

I wish at times like these I lived in Neverland. I could catch up with life and prepare myself for what's next. But that's not how life works. And I know that. So while I figure all this out, I'm enjoying my last 6 weeks. 44 days. to the fullest and the best of my ability. Here's to the next chapter!