Gives me hope

SO, this post is titled 'Gives me Hope' because I went to Palm Springs a couple of Saturday's ago to visit one of my very wonderful, amazing friends, Cara, from Work Crew. She was raving about this website/book that is entitled 'Gives me hope', it is like FML for optimistic people...or so it says on their website. Haha. Anyway, reading through those not only gives me chills, puts a smile on my face, and tears well up in my eyes..it made me think of ALL the beautiful things and people that give me hope in my own life.

So many times we fail to see the good, and only see the bad. We fight being vulnerable, because we think it's weak. We hate talking about what's going on because it draws attention, and we don't want to let our guard down because then people know too much. I think that seeing the hope in everyday situations is not only necessary for happiness, it will also give others hope around us. We never know when someone is watching us, and being strong in a terrible situation, or smiling when you are hurting can give someone hope.

Last week, I had a sleepover with Hannah, Amanda, Courtney, and Hailey. These girls have been my rock and my comfort for the past 4 years, spilling our guts, crying, laughing..all of it. We were able to sit and talk and cry about things that were going on in our lives, and not only that..but they were so encouraging. They knew about something that I've been struggling with and were there with open arms to tell me I'm beautiful and that I encourage and inspire them. THEY give me hope. I look at them and know I have a real, amazing friendship with them. To be able to say that is incredible. They give me hope.

The past few days were spent at, in my opinion, one of God's most amazing masterpieces. The beach. I am so blessed to say that I have gone beach camping with my best friend and her family for the past 7 years. We go every Spring Break, and being a senior..this meant this could be our last one. But I know that we will still have many adventures ahead of us and we will continue beach camping. Anyway, being with her in such a beautiful setting is so hard to explain..Madeline is someone that knows when I'm sad, angry, grumpy, happy, excited..all of the above. And she is such a light when all I can see is darkness. Seeing every sunset over the ocean with my best friend..gives me hope. Along with that, Hannah, Amanda, and Courtney came to visit us and we laughed and talked on the beach and then took ridiculous pictures at sunset. You could say it's been a fantastic Spring Break.

One final thing I want to talk about is what I mentioned in the beginning of this post. You never know who is watching you to give THEM hope. I am beyond words when I say that when I get a text saying that I encourage them, or that they want my help, or they want to see what all this YoungLife stuff is about...I want to jump for joy. Half the time I have NO idea they are watching me for insight or encouragement..but they are. So, think about what gives you hope. And what you can do to give others hope. It's a rough world, but having hope makes it worth it all.

Have an amazing rest of your week, God bless, and I love you all <3 (ps..thanks for reading!!)

Kids say the darndest things

Okay. I know, I know. I've been majorly slacking at this posting a blog frequently thing. I promise I'll figure out a way to write every week, because I absolutely love it and it is an escape. I have been so so so busy lately it's not even funny. I can't even begin to describe all that I have been doing but this post will be a catch up session on everything that's been going on in my life. It may be long, so I apologize..HERE it goes..

Alright, so a couple of weeks ago (this is where I choose to start my catch up) I went to Disneyland with Courtney, Raymond, Amanda, and Alexis. It was pouring all day, and it was very cold. But honestly, it was one of the BEST trips to Disneyland I've had in a very long time. There were barely any lines (because of the rain) and it was just so happy there. I mean, when is the happiest place on earth not happy? But, it was even HAPPIER than usual :) I love hanging out with them and there were so many inside jokes that were made, it makes me smile to this day. The reason why I love going so much is because it makes me feel like a little kid again, which I love. Which brings me to my next point!

For my Child Development class we go to an Elementary School to mentor and observe and just help teach the kids, so for the past 3 weeks I've been going every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Let me just say...I LOVE kids. They teach me more than I teach them. Honestly. The very first day, two girls came up to me and said "You're so pretty!" I mean, it's like being a superstar in the classroom. Instant self-esteem boost. But they also teach me to be carefree, not to stress, and get that innocence back that I had when I was their age. I love helping them, playing games with them, and creating ridiculous art projects with them. I love every single first grader in that class. Ahh they are just fantastic.

Another thing I've been focusing on and feeling is having hope and faith. I mean, it's such a simple thing in theory. But honestly I've seen people seriously hit there lowest of lows and God kept telling me to don't give up, and I couldn't understand for so long. But I get it now. Seeing someone I love with all my heart break down in front of me and tell me that they felt God hugging them, felt Him pull them back to Him, was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. It gives me so much inspiration to be a light in this dark, dark world. Even the littlest text or smile can seriously change someones whole day and whole outlook on life. I can't wait to se what else God has in store for me.

There are so many more things I could catch you up on but basically I would like to list things that have made me happy within the last couple of weeks, despite how crappy some of my days have been..

-Dinner and movies with Madeline.

-3 hour unintentional phone conversations with Hailey.

-Funny texts :)

-Good, great guys

-Laughter

-Scoring an A on my math test (hard work really does pay off)

-Disneyland (obviously..)

-Babysitting adorable kids!

-Rain

-Long great conversations

-Getting to know someone really well

-Seeing God work in someone before my own eyes

-Love everywhere

-Smiles from strangers

Really the list goes on...but I'm again, so blessed through all the happy, sad, frustrating, and amazing times.

Sorry this was so unbelievably long. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have SUCH a blessed day and rest of your week :)

I get it

So...I'm sick again. Haha. This is the third time this year (and it's only been 2011 for a month and a half). So I've come to the realization that God has to be telling me to slow down, and rest. I do admit that I have been going and going and going a lot lately but I didn't really realize that my body does need rest, more than I give it. I'm deciding to go to bed earlier, not go on the computer as often, and every little down time I have will spend relaxing with my big Man upstairs. It shalll be wonderful :)

Aside from being sick, today was one of those really great days. The ones where nothing GREAT happened per say, but it was just good. In all my classes I found myself laughing and enjoying the people around me and just listening to their stories (good and bad)..and realizing that we all have something that we're hiding. A little something that we're either keeping from someone to spare their feelings, or to spare our own. And I was just thinking that we all need to give each other a fair chance. I feel like so many times in life we judge people based on how they talk, walk, present themselves, who they hang out with, and so on. But that's obviously not fair. That's not how we would want people to think of us so why on earth would we do that to others? I heard someone say how annoying this one kid in my english class was, and I too, agree that sometimes this person can be frustrating, but it's not fair..because I know something about this person that it is eating them alive but they don't show it. That is a STRONG person if you ask me. To hold their head high despite everything their going through...I envy people like that. They amaze me. Basically, what I'm trying to say is wait until you know someone's full personality and life before you make your opinions..they could be dealing with something way beyond anything we could fathom.

Secondly. These blogs are an escape for me. I LOVE writing, always have and I believe I always will. But today. Today blew my mind. I will keep this person's name annonymous for now (because I don't know how they would feel about me using their name..) but this person texted me today. And this person has always inspired me, because of how smart they are, and how ambitious. And of course for their love of God. But this person texted me..telling me how moved they were by one of my blog enteries. That it brought them to tears. And that I truly helped them put things into perspective and said everything they were feeling. I teared up when I read this text. Because my writing means the world to me..and for me to be able to help someone by my simple words is beyond anything I could ever ask for..so to this person; thank you. I love you. And I'm blessed you are in my life!

Overall, the little things that frustrate me, annoy me, make me angry..they all go away when stuff like this happens to me. It all gets put into perspective. Once again, I gotta thank God for reminding me. Thanks for reading :) You are all amazing.

You're still alive

Where does time go?! I mean, honestly. It's been pretty much a decade since I've written a blog. And for all my lovely amazing followers out there, I apologize. I've been so lost in time. I really didn't think my Senior year would go anywhere near as fast as it has been going. Not only that, but high school. I feel like I was JUST a little bitty Freshman. Anyway..that's besides the point.

I want to talk about time though. Because even though I feel like so much time has been taken away from me in the last few weeks..I've been given so much more to replace it. I was given the chance to spend amazing times with my YoungLife family last weekend, and get to spend a weekend away in the mountains with God. How greater could it get? I also feel as though I was tested last week in big ways. To be a better person, to not let stress get the best of me, to be a great leader despite being tired, and for getting my priorities in order. It was a tough but great week all the same. I feel as though all in this time I mended things. I mended friendships that I so dearly missed, and I put myself back together.

I know the phrase "I put myself back together" sounds a bit strange, but that's how I felt for a while...strange. Like I wasn't myself. I didn't feel happy when I should have. I didn't get excited when I should have. and I didn't appreciate the wonderful things around me, like I should have. That may sound depressing, but it's honest. I think we all feel broken and lost at times. And we all handle that differently. For me, I put on a face or a mask if you will, that I was still put together. But that's not how I should act. When I feel broken, or sad, it lets me know that I'm human. We're all human. But I think we're also broken for a reason. I wrote a poem type thing a while ago...and I think I'll type it out on here because I think it sums up what I'm trying to say :) here it goes...


You gave me life the day I was born, but You gave me love the day I followed. People and things can be so messed up..the dirty looks, mean comments, the gossip, and heartbreak. But it is the pain that makes something worthwhile..
For we are all clay pots with broken pieces from being dropped. If we choose to walk away from the pieces lying on the floor, we miss part of ourselves. But if we try to pick up the pieces on our own, we end up with cuts and scrapes.
It is the decision within us to follow You or to walk on without part of us. You are the candle in the pot. You help us shine, even with the bumps and bruises, cuts and scrapes. For if we didn't have these openings, Your light would not shine. You are the light in the dark that guides me.
Although I do no know how to put myself together, I believe You have the ability to do so. Soon I will know the reasons and answers behind life's mystery..
But for now, I stand before You as a broken clay pot with broken pieces in my hands, waiting to be fixed...

SOO yeah :) Even though there are pieces missing in us, there is still hope. So don't doubt the confusion, the hurt, and the pain. It's happening for a reason. And although that reason may be unknown as of now, you will eventually know. Just stay strong.

I want to spend some time at Your feet, take me..

Okay, so. Being sick/lying in bed for 3 days straight is horrible. Specially for someone as social as I am. BUT. It was somewhat enjoyable to just hang out, watch movies, learn about God, and have some alone time to think.

I have a three day Campaigner Camp this weekend through YoungLife at our local camp that is about an hour away. And I'm SO excited. I get to spend the whole weekend with my YoungLife family and God. What could be better? The things I kinda was thinking about these past three days revolve around forgiveness. I've been going back in forth trying to figure out how to somehow fix something that is broken..and I just don't know how. But then I realized..if it is weighing so heavy on my heart then I must react. The only problem with this is--I don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm supposed to be the bigger person (which I'm quite good at if you ask me) but in this situation neither of us did anything wrong. We grew apart and that person decided to leave. Now my question is do I go after them? Or do I let them go? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had this problem but I've written countless letters, gone over what I want to say thousands of times, and have given up a million times. But there has GOT to be a reason why I'm hanging on.

Forgiveness. Such a simple word..yet so hard to do. I think it's easy to say "I forgive you." but to me, you really aren't fully forgiving them by brushing it under the carpet like nothing happened, or even hanging onto the fact that they did something wrong in your eyes. I think for us to not forgive is to fall, and to fall is not what God intended for us to do. He intended us to stand firm and live like He did. I think to truly forgive you just gotta let go. But in order to do so...you have to talk things over and clear things up. It's the only way.

So I have decided to make a huge gesture and make things right. The title of this blog is "I want to spend some time at Your feet, take me.." because the only way I know how to figure things out is if I give them up to God and let Him lead my steps instead of me. Because I often take the 'wheel' in my life when I clearly know better.

Is there someone that you should forgive to move on? How would you deal with forgiveness? I think we all need a second chance every once in a while. We're human. We fall, and sometimes we need someone to pick us up. My question to you is, are you going to be the person falling or the one picking someone up?

18 Years In..

Oh boy. OH BOY. Let me start by saying I'm smiling right now. Wanna know why?! Because I have the most amazing, crazy, loving, BEST people in my life. I'm finally 18 and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect way to spend my 18th. Everything exceeded any expectation I could have had. I just want to tell everyone what great people I have in my life, give them major bragging rights, and show off all the love I felt this weekend :) Soo here it goes!

When I woke up Friday morning (my birthday) I was first overwhelmed with texts, facebook posts, and all that. Then my mom gave me a huge birthday hug, near tears, because I'm a grown up! THEN I walk outside to leave for school to find my car completely decked out with 'Happy 18th Birthday!' and all these other amazing things written on it. All thanks to Ali, Amanda, Alexis, Carter, and Courtney. Thank you girls for making my day! :) Then I get to school and Ali hands me a beautiful card, Madeline hands me my favorite candy, Hannah hands me nice warm Starbucks, and Jasmine hands me balloons, a birthday pin, and a gift card. You can say that I was just ecstatic with all the love I was receiving! I got phone calls, texts, facebook posts, and hugs throughout the whole day which majorly contributed to my amazing day. For them to take the time out of their day to say happy birthday is wonderful! AHH I just want to re-live it over and over.

That night I had all my best friends over for dinner. We laughed (a lot), ate dinner, played Just Dance 2, had cake and ice cream, and opened presents. They all know me amazingly well because my presents fit my personality. Thanks guys!! :) Then towards the end of the night I realized that I hadn't bought a lotto ticket yet! So me, Catherine, Amanda, and Brittany hopped in Alexis' dad's NICE car to buy a lotto ticket, blasting the music as we went. You can say my night was perfect in the simplest of ways.
My future roommate also told me she sent me a package in the mail for my birthday! Ah, I've known her for about a month and I already feel so close to her. She's amazing! :)

I head to bed after bragging to my parents about all the nice things people said in my cards, and all the presents I had received, at about one o'clock in the morning. I thought hey? It's saturday. I'll get to sleep in! But actually...I was woken up/tackled by Madeline and Kendal that morning as they threw confetti at me saying "Happy Birthday!!!" at about 7:30 am. I sounded like a man because I am getting over a cold, so needless to say--funniest thing EVER. They took me out to breakfast, in my pjs, at Mimi's Cafe. Then we went to the park and just sat in the sun talking about life. They are amazing..and I love you guys so much! :)

Today is Sunday and I finally get to celebrate with my family! We're going to do the whole dinner, presents, and cake thing. But more importantly, I'm excited to spend it with people I adore.


I didn't need any presents or anything. Because I truly got the BEST gift of friends and people I love. Thank you to everyone who contributed to the best birthday I've had to date. You guys are more than amazing and I'm SO beyond blessed to have you in my life. Thank you thank you thank you!!

What happens in Vegas

(I will post pictures from my amazing weekend in a different blog, at a later date..stay tuned.)

You know the expression what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Well, in my case I hope that's not true. I had the most amazing, rewarding, fun, fabulous weekend that I've had in a really long time. I need to just explain everything I saw, experienced, and felt throughout this weekend. With that being said..this post may be rather long. But please read it and maybe you can be inspired from at least one thing I say in this :)

Day One: Friday
Debbie and I drove from Temecula to Vegas which is about a four hour drive. The whole drive consisted of eating, listening to music, reading, and talking. Normal road trip. When we got to Alexis' house we obviously attacked her cause we were so excited to see her (it's been a year). Then Alexis, being the amazingly talented singer song writer that she is put on a concert for us. She is brilliant with her music and so inspiring. You can just see God's light through her. Look up Alexis Weber on FB if you don't believe me :) But then we took a drive to see where she lives and goes to school..then rented a movie and talked and painted our toes...totally a girls night, I know. We then attempted to learn from Darrins Dance Groove. (Of course trying to learn the dance to 'Bye, bye, bye') All in all amazing night. But THEN...


Day Two: Saturday
Alexis, Debbie, and I got up at 6:30 am to feed the homeless with Alexis' church. I honestly am at a loss for words on how amazing this experience was. The first place we stopped at we helped people pick out clothes that the church donated. We met a little girl named Alina who was just 10 years old. She was so excited to be getting new clothes and that we were helping her. When it was time to go she ran to her mom with a huge smile on her face and she had this incredible light in her. Most rewarding thing ever. The second place we stopped at was behind apartments in a not so good area. This time we helped pass out lunches and desserts and they were all so thankful and it felt good to know we were doing it for God's glory and for HIS ministry. We met a man named Richard who was 55 years old, pretty messed up mentally..but I can't count how many times he said thank you and how great we were for doing this. He had tears built up in his beautiful blue eyes and my heart was breaking for these amazing people who are just so unfortunate. They believe our society hates them but it's our job to just love on them. Ahh I wish you could all see what I saw. If you get a chance to feed the homeless...do it. Please.

After that we were physically and emotionally drained so we took a nap. Then Alexis had a prayer night at her church..where they found out one of their youth leaders had died, and the whole room was shaken up but so many people loved this man and it's clear that he's partying with Jesus up in heaven. Spending time with God and only God for just that hour was so incredible. We then went to the strip and went to Serendipity's. This night was filled with painful, long walks, interesting people, lots of laughs, silly jokes..everything under the sun. Vegas is such a crazy place for three underaged teenage girls but it was so fun and I loved spending time with my amazing work crew girls. They are encouraging, fun, and so great.

Day Three: Sunday
We woke up early to go to church and I learned such an amazing thing. Live at 212 degrees. Water's boiling point in order to start to steam is 212 degrees. This is how on fire for God we should be..we all have a spiritual temperature and I'm striving to be at 212 degrees and build my relationship with God so it's as strong as it can be. Not just how I look and appear on the outside, but on the inside. I want to be seeking after God in absolutely everything.




Live at 212 Degrees


This is a weekend I will never, ever forget and I'm so blessed with the experiences, people I was with, and people I met for God's purpose. I learned so many things and I'm still in awe..I love God and what He is doing in my life.

God is good, so so good. <3


So yeah, correct me if I'm wrong but I definitely don't think what happened in Vegas should stay in Vegas. I'm carrying out so much of what happened this weekend into my daily life back here in Temecula. I realize how blessed, thankful, and how undeserving I am..and I will never forget that.

And I'll let my words be few, "Jesus I am so in love with You."